Does your rage sometimes cause you to fight for air? Does your shame lead you into a dark abyss of loneliness and disconnection? Is your pain so pervasive and palpable that even a torrent of tears brings no relief? Does overwhelming despair bring you to your knees? You are not alone. The miracle, majesty, and mystery of life can likewise bring overwhelming misery.
Unfortunately, trauma past or present, shapes our current reality in very negative ways. It colors our perceptions, influences our motivations and actions, subjectively manipulates our emotions, impacts our relationships, and defines who we believe ourselves to be. Trauma is a thief, a stealthy intruder who ransacks the dreams we hold so dear, steals our hopeful innocence, shatters the windows into our soul and leaves only fear behind where there once was courage and confidence. All of us will experience these overwhelming emotions at some time in our lives, and the restorative passage from pain, regret, and fear to surrender, peace, and freedom is a long and arduous one. Renewing your soul is the most painful and demanding journey you will ever experience, and admittedly, healing is an inside job as Carolyn Myss states in her book, Intimate Conversations with the Divine. It is a very personal journey. Certainly, others can help support you along the way, but the pilgrimage is for the most part a rigorous and solitary quest.
Why is soul healing such a singular endeavor? Think of it this way. The pain only lives inside you. Absolutely no one else understands your sorrow as you do. There may have been an event or person that wounded you, that initiated that distress, but that is in the past. You are now the source of your pain. The pain lives on as the voice in your head that berates, condemns, ridicules, criticizes, and questions your capabilities, but the healing balm that brings emotional comfort and inner peace resides in your soul. Tapping into the healing energy is critical, but it can also be painful, because it requires you to take a deep and exhaustive look inside yourself, not the you that you show to others, but the confused, frightened, and disheveled you that prefers to stay hidden. Unfortunately, that lengthy and honest self-examination is necessary for your healing journey. There is no medication, no diagnostic treatment, no surgical intervention that can heal your emotional wounds. You alone are the mystical shaman that can surrender your ego to the forces of light. It is the ego that holds onto shame, rejection, humiliation, grief, anger. Those are the thoughts and emotions that poison your body, mind, and spirit. You must confront the darkest parts of yourself, and that takes great courage. Indeed, it is necessary to forgive yourself before you can forgive the ones who have hurt you.
Healing is a journey, and it does not happen overnight, and everyone’s journey will look different. First and foremost, practice self-care. Eat a healthy diet, establish routine sleeping habits, engage in daily exercise, journal, and connect with others. Watch Joe Dispenza’s Rewired on Gaia TV for some amazing and insightful brain healing science. A professional therapist or a support group might be a helpful resource to help you identify and focus on the source of your feelings.
All these things can be helpful, but ultimately, healing is found in silence. Retreating from the distractions of our worldly existence, calming the chatter and noise in the mind, going within to the source of calm and inspiration, and surrendering the need to know and the need to control. In the words of Sri Sri Ravi Shankar, founder of Art of Living,
“Meditation is food for the soul. It is the journey from movement to stillness, from sound to silence. The need to meditate is present in every human being because it is a natural tendency of human life to look for a joy that doesn’t diminish, a love that doesn’t distort or turn into negative emotions.”
Healing does not mean you will never again endure the desperation of darkness, pain, or fear. They are an inescapable part of life’s journey, but you will again experience happiness, joy, hope, and contentment, because it is your divine right, regardless of your pride, your mistakes, or your failures. Love is your very existence, and the Light will always guide you to the Truth.
In silence we find the strength to let go of the things that no longer serve us and make space for what truly matters.
Thich Nhat Hanh
Meditation is the journey from movement to stillness, from sound to silence
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